The Sky is Everywhere

      Im currently reading the book The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson.  It's about a girl named Lennie and her life after her sister died.  But now she has a crush on her sister's old boyfriend, Toby.  A boy who helps her remember Bailey, who helps her make Bailey's death a little more bearable.  And she also has a crush on the new kid in band class, Joe.  This boy helps her forget.  He makes her not feel any grief, just happiness.  So which boy should she choose. The one who helps her remember, or the one.
        If she chooses Toby, then she will remember her sister more.  She will be with someone who knew her sister well.  Some one who Lennie could laugh at Bailey's memory with.  He could help her deal with her greif.  But what would Bailey say if she was looking down on them from heaven or something?  If Lennie and Toby start dating, then won't she feel guilty?  She sort of stole her sister's boyfriend.  But then, there is always Joe.
        If Lennie chooses Joe, then she will be able to forget.  After all, hanging on to a memory for too long can be un-healthy.  Joe makes her happy, she is always happy and laughing when she is around him.  That's good for her.  She needs to be cheered up.  Joe will play the clarinet with her.  Have her listen to the music. Calm her down.  That is something she needs sometimes.
        But I also wonder if liking these two boys just fills up a hole in her heart.  A hole where Bailey used to be, because she wasn't interested in Toby and a bunch of other boys until the funeral.  Sorrt of like when I'm bored and I just start eating.  I fill up the hole that I caused by not doing something by eating half a box of cereal.  Honestly I just think that she is trying to fill that hole with boys.  And I don't think it's going to work for very long.